24 September 2012

That Time I Made My Own Wand

As you've probably gathered from past posts, there have been few things that have rivaled my dedication to the Harry Potter fandom.

Out of all of the things I've done for/in behalf of the fandom, the most memorable and shameful had to be the events that transpired the Summer of 2003.

That summer the fifth book in the series was coming out, and I had spent one Sunday a few weeks before the release alone in my garage with my Dad's tools and a stick I had found in my back yard.


Making a wand.

Yep.

It took hours of intense whittling and sanding to finally get the perfect wand. The finishing touches? Burning the end of it to make it look "used."



I was so proud of it, and when I finally emerged from the dark garage into the garish summer sun, I ran straight inside to show my Mom.




(Did I mention I was 15?)

The day before the book was released, a few of my friends got together to prepare to wait, despite my mother's warnings.

"Hannah...you will be marching in a parade tomorrow morning at 8am. You will die."

















We showed up at the bookstore around 6pm and sat on the pavement next to someone dressed as Professor Trelawney and another dressed as Dobby (it was actually a disturbing combination)...

When I was finally handed my copy of the book, I could barely contain my excitement.



I ran out of the store, wand in one hand, book in the other. Across the parking lot I could see my friend's car. I made a run for it, determined to do everything in my power to get home quicker. But since I was running like a maniac and not looking where I was going...

(Here comes the darkest moment of my life you guys....are you ready?)

I tripped as I leapt off the curb into the parking lot...



and flew forward...



luckily I stepped forward and caught myself before I biffed it completely...

...but not before my homemade wand went straight into my right nostril.




I cried out in pain and looked down to see my face-blood dripping onto the book cover.





My friends led me to the car and sat me in the back, where I proceeded to bleed all over the seat.

Despite being dizzy and exhausted, nothing could stop be from laying on my couch and reading the book all night.

After reading until about 6am, I realized that I had a parade to be to at 8. Not wanting to sleep through it somehow, I decided to get into my marching band uniform and go back to reading.

Around 7, I heard my Mom get up. She then found me, fully decked in Marching band regalia, on our couch with a dried and bloody tissue coming out of my nose, and tears in my eyes.









So, a wand was shoved up my nose.

JUST LIKE THE TROLL IN THE FIRST BOOK.

Like I said. Darkest moment of my life.


26 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love this :) You are amazing.

Camilla said...

That seriously is the greatest thing I have ever heard. Best HP experience ever!

Anonymous said...

I get nosebleed spontaneously, which means that they are my darkest most horrifying fear. So, I'm not quite sure what I make of this. I don't know if I should cringe or...

Lauren Elizabeth said...

hahah, love this. I can't even say anything else. Keep writing, please.

fra9001 said...

Thank God you weren't a Star Wars maniac.

nicola lynde said...

Amazingness. A truly dedicated Potter maniac!

Ellen Lloyd said...

I read right up to "running like a maniac and not looking where I was going"

And stopped, horrified. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! She's going to break the wand oh no oh nooooo and THERE WILL BE SLUGS EVERYWHERE.

Going back to read the rest now, afraid of what I might find... :[

Ellen Lloyd said...

OMGEE noWAY. Okay... that was simultaneously much worse, way better and 10 times more awesome than anything I had imagined!

Troll bogies for the win!

Magical Day Dream said...

You manage to make every single one of your posts into a hilarious one. That is a true gift. You have a real talent for story telling, can't wait till your next post!

x

Marielle

Julia said...

dude. do you have a book deal yet?

my daughter just read Smiles. my kids would devour a grpahic novel about the adventures of a potter fan back when you couldn't just read all the books right in a row. They think that alone must have been awesome yet hellish.

Ashley Alexandra said...

LOL, so awesome. I too made myself a wand out of what I believed to be a willow branch. Though nothing this exciting ever transpired while "using" it.

nya said...

I love reading your blog! You are so funny...
By the way, for one terrible second I thought the wand was gonna go into your eyeball

Anonymous said...

This week is homecoming at my school, and the theme is Harry Potter. Perfect post in celebration, I commend you.

Holly said...

for my friend's 18th birthday, she held a Harry Potter party. We all each chose a character (I was Neville) and were instructed to arrive in full costume with broom. The party involved Quidditch, wands whittled by her dad, a sorting ceremony, a treasure hunt, lots and lots of food from the books and of course movie-watching. We looked crazy, got many stares from neighbours but it was the best time of our lives.

Nicole and Garrett said...

Ewww...Hannah bogies :)

This was so funny because I remember staying up all that night too and then bawling in my room alone about Sirius Black. Our kids are never going to understand.

Kendra said...

That.Was.Awesome. Sorry for your humiliating moment, but think of what good material it has provided you with! :)

detox said...

Your the only one who made a bowser plush on YouTube and your bowser was awsome

Anonymous said...

VV is like my crack....it's been 1 month 5 days and 7 hours since I last read. I'm freaking out! (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Laura said...

Oh dear lord!

But hilarious. I love Potter too.

Bella said...

Wait, this EXACT thing happened to me! Except my friends and I were pretending to BE Harry Potter characters, and I jumped off the couch and the wand go up my nose!
I feel so much less stupid now!

kwistin said...

after showing her my "funny" pinterest board, we just kinda sat with nothing else to look at. i was expecting her to get back to do what she'd previously been doing, but then she stayed sitting. ...curious. after some hesitancy, this:

my mom: "does your friend hannah still write her blog?:

me: "um...yeah, why?"

my mom: [silence...]

me: "heh. okay."

and then i opened up a new tab and read this one to her.

hannah.

she just about DIED laughing.
how DARE you almost kill my mother with your humor and most excellent illustrations and story skills.

...she still has tears in her eyes from laughing.

:D

College Essays said...

depressive...a lot. but so cool at the same time!! really, just great stuff))

mba dissertation writing said...

So cool at the same time!!

dissertation writing said...

I have read this "That Time I Made My Own Wand" really good.

essay writing said...

I wish I also have that kind of wand.

Vikki_Brooks said...

Just saying, Im in love with your blog. PLEASE POST MORE, HANNAH!!! I went through every single entry (making many as 'disturbing' - meant in the nicest way possible) and i still want more!!!! this stuff is great! I've been telling my friends about this for so long! You're amaze!
-VIKKI
Here's my blog: http://supergirl.doodlekit.com/
PS, Its so cute how you married Sean!!!!