08 September 2011

Why I Suck At School

I'm still in school. By the time I graduate with my BFA next August, I'll have spent 6 years in my undergraduate degree.

At my university you are not only required to complete the classes assigned to your specific major, but also a ton of other "general" classes as well. These include science, math, and other such miserable things. Naturally I avoided these classes at all costs, neglecting to think of the consequences that would come of not taking them as a freshman.

So here I am. A triple senior in a bunch of freshman classes. It's my own fault, of course, for not taking (or passing) these classes when I should have. That doesn't stop me from wanting to stab my eyes out with a pencil every single day.



Currently I'm in a freshman Physical Science class with an overly-excited professor who specializes in the study of black holes.










After my initial breakdown upon realizing that I remember absolutely nothing from high school science, I go into a half-daze, half dream-like state during class.




I also make the mistake of forgetting the essential substances needed to keep me from shutting down and losing focus completely.


As a result of forgetting that important substance, I usually begin letting my basic human needs take complete control of everything, ignoring everything the professors are saying until my needs are fulfilled. 





The solution to all of these problems would be to just GET OUT OF SCHOOL HANNAH WHY ARE YOU STILL IN SCHOOL YOU'RE ALMOST 24 YOU SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE INSTEAD OF SITTING THROUGH SOUL-SUCKING 100-LEVEL CLASSES WITH SHINY-FACED FRESHMAN WHO DON'T EVEN REALIZE YET THAT COLLEGE WILL TURN THEM INTO PROCRASTINATING, NOCTURNAL, ANEMIC CREATURES THAT ONLY EMERGE FROM THEIR DORMS TO TAKE TESTS AND MAYBE EAT.

Next August... Next August. 

Love,
Hannah

40 comments:

The_Hamburglar said...

Hannah, I'm in that class with you huh! man... perfect. spot on. he is far too excited. And the worst part is that he is so ... nice... about everything...

lazy_katie said...

I'm a 4th year junior doing the same thing, except my professors all expect me to be terrified of them (as the freshmen apparently are). I can't tell you how many times already this semester I've had the "look dude, i've been here three years you don't scare me, i'll pass even if you hate me shut yer trap" staring matches. hatehatehate

Katie Bevan said...

I felt the same way last year in my Stats class. Everyone takes the class so seriously and I am like "Who CARES?!" and I played scrabble the whole time during the lecture.

Jenna said...

Oh man, PS 100 was the worst semester of my LIFE.

nova said...

I was the same! I actually didn't get a 1st year English requirement due to some ridiculous bureaucracy involved in transferring universities...and had to go back to what's essentially a community college full of just-out-of-high-schoolers. And I was 27. FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Brissa said...

thank you for letting me laugh at your pain. your illustrations are hilarious. that's how i act in most my classes and i don't even have the excuse of medication to fall back on.
you can do it.
keep on truckin.

Ester Durães said...

I just found out your blog but I'm so loving it! I'm going to follow you, I need to keep a track on your awesomeness! :)

averie said...

that was hilariously amazing.

school isn't so bad -- "real life" as a working individual is totally overrated. stay in college as loooong as you can!!!

Doanz said...

I think being a professional student is the best job in the world...if only there was a paycheck.

Rochelle said...

HILARIOUS!! This was seriously my life until I did finally finish school just last month. 87 college credits later and ONE associates degree to show for it. (Well, almost. It hasn't come in the mail yet.) This is the downfall of your mother insisting you can be ANYTHING you want to be. ...so I tried to be everything.

I think this is my new favorite blog.

Anonymous said...

Whoot for film school. No generals :) I do however relate to the neglecting such important things as eating and sleeping and social interaction. Must be a universal post secondary education thing.

Anonymous said...

I am seriously in that class, too. Complete with professor who loves black holes. Usually I just start smiling because I'm so oblivious to what's going on on the screen. Wooooooohooooo generals.

Hannah Hillam said...

@Ethan. Seriously! Don't ever leave me in that class alone again!

@Katie Bevan, Scrabble has probably saved my brain from exploding.

@Jenna did you take it at BYU? Because yeah, it's the worst class ever.

@Nova
UGH! That sounds awful! I feel better knowing that there are others out there like me, though.

@Brissa
Please please please laugh at my pain. I never mind. Ever. I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. :D

@Doanz
Seriously, I would love being a perpetual student if I could get paid for it. It sounds lovely. I mean, I love learning! Except learning means student loans, and bi-annual nervous breakdowns.

Thank you all for the comments. :) I love hearing how you relate to it all.

brittna said...

i feel your pain my friend - i totally took that class as a senior - the first year of being a senior

Hannah Hillam said...

Let's just be seniors forever together, okay? Until we die. Which could very well be sooner rather than later if we're planning on always being super seniors.

Michelle Clement said...

Oh, man - Science?? Math?! That's why I *chose* art school! To avoid those horrible, horrible things...maybe you can steal a freshman's homework or something? Hang in there!! :(

Magical Day Dream said...

Hilarious illustrations! I feel your pain but at least you use it to make others laugh :p

x

Marielle

cwaycarter said...

i've def been there! i just graduated as a 5th yr senior and i can recall feeling this exact way daily. hang in there! it's almost over! -C.C. ReFashion Statement

hellotampon said...

Uggh! I'm 26 and I'm still in community college... yeah. Being poor SUCKS. And it would have helped if I'd known what I wanted to do right away, so I could have taken the right classes without having to basically start over at 25. Now I'm in 101 classes with bratty 18-year-olds, and I do remember it all from high school which makes it extra boring.

Anonymous said...

Space math is fun!

I'm a space math engineering doctor. It's easier than it sounds.

Katie said...

sounds like me with my journalism classes...round three for one of them. shit.

--instead of an elephant

flutefairy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
flutefairy said...

I absolutely love your post, it makes me laugh and smile and is so entertaining. Thanks so much for sharing-
Nattalie (from high school)

Sentimental J said...

Oh no, I hate science! Good thing my college isn't like that. Good luck with everything though.

Your last line made me laughed so hard because it is so true, "100-LEVEL CLASSES WITH SHINY-FACED FRESHMAN WHO DON'T EVEN REALIZE YET THAT COLLEGE WILL TURN THEM INTO PROCRASTINATING, NOCTURNAL, ANEMIC CREATURES THAT ONLY EMERGE FROM THEIR DORMS TO TAKE TESTS AND MAYBE EAT."

Amy Bishop said...

I'm one of the aforesaid shiny faced freshman trying desperately to knock out all my Gen Ed classes so I can have "fun" next year. I hate Math. So much. SO MUCH.

Ernestine Montoya said...

I kind of feel like a d-bag saying this, but I don't find most "funny" blogs all that funny. But yours has made me laugh about twenty times in the five minutes I've been reading it. Loving it! Thank Jesus for Stumble Upon :)

And to Katie, I had to take a Journalism class 3 times, too! I probably shouldn't be proclaiming it for the world to see, but I feel your pain. I finally passed it. With an A+, just for kicks.

Aitherrios Photography said...

I'm almost 24 and I'm taking that class this semester, LOL!

Hannah Hillam said...

@Michelle Clement
Yeah. YEAH. That's why I *should* have chosen just plain art school. I absolutely love my art classes, but receiving a "well rounded" education is turning me into a crazyperson.

@Marielle
I'm glad that I can make people laugh. :)

@cwaycarter
nice blog!

@Anonymous Space-Math-Engineer-doctor
Seriously? I admire you. You should do my homework...?

@Katie
I like your blog. Especially this: http://insteadofanelephant.blogspot.com/2011/09/plank-of-wood.html

@Nattalie
Hey! Long time! I'm glad you like it. :)

@Amy
Good, good, GOOD idea. Get those stupid GE's out of the way and your life will be wonderful.

@Ernestine
Thank you! That's an incredibly kind comment (as opposed to someone calling me a "judgemental douchebag". :) I usually don't find the "funny" blogs very funny either. "Thank Jesus for Stumble Upon." Right? Stumble upon is like a beautiful, beautiful cocaine. Thanks for coming.


@Melissa (Aitherrios Photography)
Are you really? It's the worst huh! *cries* UVU?

Marci said...

I went to architecture school (which is like fake art school) 20 years ago. And I'm still nocturnal. Beware! Nocturnal is really difficult when you have to get your daughter to school every day at 8 am. Anyway, she's only 6 and she's mostly nocturnal, too. At least in my case it can be explained: I'm still catching up on sleep from two decades ago.

Anonymous said...

i feel your pain. i have been in a texas community college for 4 years. 4 years!

Anonymous said...

I GRADUATE IN MAY! what will i have to show then?
6 years, a Spanish major -who speaks awful Spanish, and...
an English minor- that taught me to interpret novels abstractly = sooooo useful in this world,
oh and of course being 2 months away from the big 25- on my way to 30!
oops almost forgot my devastatingly massive debt from student loans...BECAUSE I TOOK 6 YEARS LIKE A TRUE CHAMP!

I have friends who are younger than me that finished college in 3 1/2 to 4 years and are nicely nestled into a stable job...

anyways, what I'm trying to communicate is

nice to know I'm not the only EXTRA SUPER SENIOR...you are not alone.

erika chambers said...

"space math!" perfect.

YoungAlmaMater said...

I definitely feel for you! I'm in a similar situation! I'm glad someone else out there feels the same way!

Anonymous said...

hey Hannah,I'm from Croatia and I just needed to say that I love your blog...especially artwork, and stories..and everything! and those guides for becoming a hipster. you made me laugh A LOT! keep it up.❤❤❤ ..sara

Anonymous said...

Science! Blackholes! Quantum physics! :D

*scared/blank stare*

SPACE MATH! :D

*eye well up with tears*

Omfg, laughing so hard through all of this. you are so funny

-Lily

Cindy said...

Learning, culture and social interaction. Click www.gofastek.com for more information.

Cindy
www.gofastek.com

Lee Shin said...

spot on with this write-up, i like the way you discuss the things. i'm impressed, i must say. i'll probably be back again to read more. thanks for sharing this with us.

Lee Shin
www.trendone.net

威哥王 said...

レディーチャイナ:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p293.html
RU486:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p59.html
D10:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p74.html
D10媚薬:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p74.html
D10催情剤:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p74.html
巨人倍増:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p2.html
淫インモラル:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p651.html
インモラル:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p651.html
紅蜘蛛:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p35.html
威哥王:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p250.html
花痴:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p28.html
ハナチ:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p28.html
絶對高潮:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p1.html
絶對高潮カプセル:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p1.html
魔鬼天使性欲粉:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p348.html
Muira Puama:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p348.html
中華牛鞭:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p60.html
FLY D5:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p293.html
D5原液:http://www.zzleshirts.com/p292.html

trisha said...

i actually like what you've acquired here, thank you for the effort to publish this.

www.joeydavila.net

sarah lee said...

I really enjoyed reading your article. I found this as an informative and interesting post, so i think it is very useful and knowledgeable. I would like to thank you for the effort you have made in writing this article.


edupdf.org