27 May 2011

The Internet Owns Me

For work I code. Yes, I code. I don't like to think of myself as a code monkey, but I sort of am. Sort of.

It all started when I was 12 years old. Usually the summertime means that kids like to go outside and play in the sprinklers or do other such warm-weather activities. But I had a different agenda that summer. I got it into my head that I needed to create a website. It was more important, by far, than interactions with friends and the sunshine. So I began to teach myself HTML.

My website looked something like this.

After my interest in making crappy webpages burned out I didn't touch HTML or CSS for about 10 years. Then, about a year ago, I was hired by my University to create websites for their Science department. I soon came to realize that my childhood knowledge of HTML was still tucked away deep in the recesses of my brain, providing me the ability to create even better websites than before. Much, much better websites. (I no longer use word art!)

Although my knowledge of HTML still lingers, the same unadulterated excitement I had for it as a child has gone. It has been replaced with mushy brains and a love for surfing the internet and social networking.

Recently I've had an incredibly hard time concentrating, especially on coding. Today has gone something like this.

The End.

24 May 2011

Happy Lost Day!

I jumped on the Lost airplane a few years too late. So I think this post would have been so much better if I had posted it a year ago, but I'm going to do it anyway, in celebration of the one year anniversary of the series' final episode. (I'm just going to pretend that I watched it along with everyone else, instead of in a 3 week binge earlier this year).

04 May 2011

How to be a Hipster, Chapter 2


Being a Hipster isn't easy. The careless look and seemingly easy attitude takes hours to perfect, if not days. If you want to be a true hipster there are a variety of interests you need to have. While I can't cover all of them in this brief chapter, here are some basics for you to study. 

Hipsters have a very specific taste in music. In the following diagram you'll notice just a few basic bands and artists that you need to become acquainted with to start your Hipster music library. Here's an example of a basic hipster iPod. Please adjust yours accordingly.

(Note that Arcade Fire are still on here, even though they won a Grammy. In this particular case you need to just sigh and hope for the best for this beloved band. If they sell out to the general masses, then promptly purge your playlist of anything that comes out after The Suburbs.)

When it comes to movies films there are several that make Hipsters drool.  Here is a short list of some important Hipster movies to watch and learn from. 

1. Garden State - Uh...duh. Even though some Hipsters are totally over this film, most still love it. 

2. Anything by Wes Anderson. ANYTHING. (Royal Tennenbaums, Rushmore, The Life Aquatic, Bottle Rocket, Darjeeling Limited)

Any self respecting Hipster would probably marry Wes Anderson if they had the chance. Marry him and have his little hipster filmmaker babies. He makes the best movies ever. He probably makes pretty good babies too. Probably.

3. Donnie Darko - Every Hipster goes through an angst-y Donnie Darko phase at some point or another. Now it's your turn.

4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless MindBecause of this movie, Hipsters like the name Clementine. Also they like dying their hair pink and blue. 

5.  Once (After watching this Hipsters just want to move to Ireland and play emotionally-charged songs on their acoustic guitars)

DOCUMENTARIES. Hipsters love documentaries as well. It makes them feel aware. They absolutely love to raise awareness. It makes them feel good in a guilty sort of way. It should make you feel good and guilty, too. 

Sometimes they like documentaries for the sake of liking documentaries. Kind of like Shark Week.

Nobody really knows the real reason that Hipsters flock to Shark Week like a dog to puke. All you have to do is turn on the television in July and watch informing episodes about all the different kinds of sharks. When you see your hipster friends, drop some references like "I was going to go to [insert local show here] but Shark Week was on, and...well, you know how it is."

Become a photographer/graphic designer/artist/writer/blogger.

Hipsters don't need art school. Because they already have a keen eye for what looks acceptable and what doesn't, they make natural freelance photographers/designers/artists/writers/and bloggers. Buy an old fashioned camera. The kind with gasp FILM.

After you buy your old fashioned camera, take pictures like these:

 Go to ugly sweater parties. These are like breeding grounds for Hipsters. They go to these parties to laugh at each other and take pictures for social networking sites. 

Now go mark your calendar for Shark Week, pull on your Oxfords and ride your bike to your nearest Thrift Store to look for a hideous sweater. Check back soon for the next installment of How to Be a Hipster: Lifestyle.