04 May 2011

How to be a Hipster, Chapter 2

 HOW TO BE A HIPSTER
 
CHAPTER TWO: INTERESTS


Being a Hipster isn't easy. The careless look and seemingly easy attitude takes hours to perfect, if not days. If you want to be a true hipster there are a variety of interests you need to have. While I can't cover all of them in this brief chapter, here are some basics for you to study. 


Hipsters have a very specific taste in music. In the following diagram you'll notice just a few basic bands and artists that you need to become acquainted with to start your Hipster music library. Here's an example of a basic hipster iPod. Please adjust yours accordingly.

(Note that Arcade Fire are still on here, even though they won a Grammy. In this particular case you need to just sigh and hope for the best for this beloved band. If they sell out to the general masses, then promptly purge your playlist of anything that comes out after The Suburbs.)


When it comes to movies films there are several that make Hipsters drool.  Here is a short list of some important Hipster movies to watch and learn from. 



1. Garden State - Uh...duh. Even though some Hipsters are totally over this film, most still love it. 


2. Anything by Wes Anderson. ANYTHING. (Royal Tennenbaums, Rushmore, The Life Aquatic, Bottle Rocket, Darjeeling Limited)


Any self respecting Hipster would probably marry Wes Anderson if they had the chance. Marry him and have his little hipster filmmaker babies. He makes the best movies ever. He probably makes pretty good babies too. Probably.






3. Donnie Darko - Every Hipster goes through an angst-y Donnie Darko phase at some point or another. Now it's your turn.





4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless MindBecause of this movie, Hipsters like the name Clementine. Also they like dying their hair pink and blue. 


5.  Once (After watching this Hipsters just want to move to Ireland and play emotionally-charged songs on their acoustic guitars)



DOCUMENTARIES. Hipsters love documentaries as well. It makes them feel aware. They absolutely love to raise awareness. It makes them feel good in a guilty sort of way. It should make you feel good and guilty, too. 






Sometimes they like documentaries for the sake of liking documentaries. Kind of like Shark Week.






















Nobody really knows the real reason that Hipsters flock to Shark Week like a dog to puke. All you have to do is turn on the television in July and watch informing episodes about all the different kinds of sharks. When you see your hipster friends, drop some references like "I was going to go to [insert local show here] but Shark Week was on, and...well, you know how it is."






Become a photographer/graphic designer/artist/writer/blogger.




Hipsters don't need art school. Because they already have a keen eye for what looks acceptable and what doesn't, they make natural freelance photographers/designers/artists/writers/and bloggers. Buy an old fashioned camera. The kind with gasp FILM.


After you buy your old fashioned camera, take pictures like these:






 Go to ugly sweater parties. These are like breeding grounds for Hipsters. They go to these parties to laugh at each other and take pictures for social networking sites. 







Now go mark your calendar for Shark Week, pull on your Oxfords and ride your bike to your nearest Thrift Store to look for a hideous sweater. Check back soon for the next installment of How to Be a Hipster: Lifestyle.



83 comments:

Diana said...

You don't even know how excited I was to see this was finally posted.

Kirsti said...

This might be "hipster" of me but I can't believe I have a hipster's taste in films! GAH! I try and avoid being hipster as MUCH as possible! And the music?! I have it all. DRAT. Darn you, hipsters, for copying my sensible taste! And I LOVE shark week!

Well, folks, I think this is a sign that I might've just been a hipster at birth.

Camilla said...

Dear Hannah,

Will you please move to Ireland with me so we can write emotionally charged love songs together?

Love,

Camilla

Simini said...

My roommate came home last night and said she had finally figured out what the the term "hipster" meant. It took me a few seconds to ask shrewdly, "Have you read 'How to be a Hipster'?" To which she exclaimed, "That's how I found out!"

I felt an almost hipster sense of satisfaction when I could proclaim, "I know the girl who writes it!"

Morgan said...

YESSSSSS!!!!!

You have NAILED it once again!! this time even better!
Thank you, Hannah.

Katie Bevan said...

HAHA This is great!
I think I am part hipster with out trying to be.

Tom said...

Another great post, your drawings really capture it. They are work, well 1000 words, each.

Lauren said...

Oh gosh... I never thought I was a hipster, but according to this, I am. I don't dress like one though! Does that make me a hybrid??

Kar said...

Hannah, I'm a little bit in love with you for exposing hipsters like this. Hilarious.

Cherie said...

Yikes!!! Hannah HELP me - pleeze!!

I gave birth to a baZillion potential Hipsters all through the '80's and 90's...

Who are now, quite ironically, captivated and amused by the realization that right now as i type, you already have thousands of 'Likes' from a barrage of unconventionally creatively unique individuals... just exactly like themselves!!!!

What's a mother to DO??

Lexi Podolski said...

Kudos!! You have opened my eyes.. I've realized I was a hipster and didn't even know it. HOW HIPSTER IS THAT!?!!? Word.

Rachel said...

Jonathan's a hipster! He loves all those films, and he also has the big ol' beard. I'm so happy right now!

Anonymous said...

Psh, Iron and Wine doesn't deserve to be on that list. Sam Beam doesn't have a pretentious bone in his body, which is a prerequisite for hipsterism.

I'm offended, and ashamed that I'm offended at some stupid internet thingie.

Kerry said...

I think this is SPOT ON. A good wrap up would be: a hipster always thinks they are being original and no one could possibly think like them, be as creative as them, or understand the things they say. When *reality*: they are all. the. same. gaaa-ross.

garden state is my favorite movie though. :)

leila said...

bwahahahhaha! killing me!! hilarious.

Les Doerfler said...

I'll bet hipsters feel compelled to say "Those aren't drawings or cartoons, they're illustrations."

scott said...

Great illustrations. Funny blog and your illustrations are illustrious.

Alex said...

Hooray! According you I am the very definition of hipster and, as such, I will wear it as a badge of honor. What the hell is wrong with being a hipster anyways? It is a sub-culture like any other...

Storm. Kat Storm. said...

Oh God... I'm a hipster.

WHY DIDNT SOMEONE TELL ME?!

Kristin said...

so...i love that most the above comments are more like confessions of various levels of degrees of hipsterdom.

me? ...i'm definitely part hipster. half, maybe?

but i think we both already knew that.

Emma. Emmalita. Em-uh. Em and m. said...

You don't know me, but I stalk your blog religiously and this post literally made me LOL. Thanks for the mid-Monday laugh :)

P.S. I'm about as far from a hipster as you can get, but I totally appreciate these posts.

Rachael Altice said...

Hi. I'm creepy blog lurker that leaves no comments. ANYWAYS. I decided to stop lurking and comment! The first installation of this got me into your stuff, and this is like, epic. Just sayin'. <3<3<3

Ian Sheffield said...

This is cute. I read you, it made me laugh several times, so, you know, you win. Just wondering, though, if I like a bunch of these things, but also cannot wait to dance my ass off at my 16th and 17th Phish shows in three weeks...where does that leave me?

Young People in Love said...

This is beyond brilliant.

But...oh hey, I gotta run to Urban. They're having a sale on fedoras!

Katherine said...

Hipsters don't have ipods. They're too mainstream.

Cup of Natali said...

This makes me hate myself & my taste repeatedly.
thanks!

xx

julie said...

hahahaha this is so brilliant, i am in love with it. i terribly spot on with the music, movies and art fartiness without trying to be.

thanks for the laughs

Anonymous said...

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/

.....for the expanded guide on how to be a hipster.

Ajveris said...

im so hipster that i dont care about being hipster!
i really do.. as long as i am happy being it... idk what fashion stuff is goin on!

Joohee Kim said...

Oh man oh man, when are you posting chapter 3....

alejandro said...

that's all true im from costa rica and i do all those things, my friends make jokes about that all the time...

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness. But I love Sigor Ros.
I am horrible.

Anonymous said...

@ Katherine

"Katherine said...

Hipsters don't have ipods. They're too mainstream."

Apple is the core of all hipster-ism.

Anonymous said...

This is genius!

Emily said...

You are officially my favorite person. Ever.

Anonymous said...

wow... i have and do like at least half of all this stuff!!! is that bad?

cuethesun777 said...

bahahaha hilarious. i love it. youre super talented, keep it up i want more hipster how to

Kate Strohm said...

This is hilarious.

Theo Ross said...

It's at the point where those being hipster and those desperately avoiding it have both gotten too entirely sad. I'll admit I like almost all of that music and almost all of those movies. I'll also admit I really laughed at this, but some of the comments really put me off.

Anonymous said...

Hi. You are hilarious and I love you. Ok bye.

hi im steven said...

omg...i was like reading through this and i realized the farther down it got that i actually love all these things...and then it got to shark week and i was like, OMG its on next week!!!

Vixi said...

lol. You forgot The Human Centipede on the list of films.

Anonymous said...

I'm not into any of the clothes, or most of the fashion-y stuff, the music is meh, I like some of it, but I guess I'm a super hipster when it comes to movies, I've seen ESotSM like 50 times, and I'm not ashamed AT ALL to say it.

Julia said...

Haha I love the people who are like "Oh my gosh, I fit into all of these categories! But I'm definitely not a hipster... (please say I'm a hipster)"
But this is hilarious, well done.

Anonymous said...

Hipsters don't exist so don't be a pretentious ass wipe and call your self one. If you truly fit into the categories, you won't say a damn thing about it. Otherwise, find yourself a Pacsun.

Heather said...

I can't wait for the next installment! Very funny.

Anonymous said...

wooow. this defines hipsters exactly. i love you.

Jack said...

haha. Im watching shark week.

Courtney said...

This is like the funniest blog ever! Sometimes the comments are even funnier:) People are like OMG, I'm totes a hipster! It's just funny how we can't be people anymore... we all need labels now. I fit most of the description (except I don't like sharks because they're scary AND they eat dolphins), but I don't want to be a hipster. I like just being Courtney:)

Justine said...

Such an amusing read! Your illustrations are so friggen adorable! Can't wait for the next chapter.

Anonymous said...

This... this hits incredibly close to home.

Anonymous said...

Apparently I have a hipsters taste in movies and music. Also, I dont know anybody that watched Donnie Darko and understood everything completely. If I ever hear anyone say that, we're going to have a serious talk.

Anonymous said...

Great work! From Ireland and Glen Hansard irritates the be-jeesus out of me!

Gabby said...

This is exactly my life....

....Time to rethink every decision I've ever made.

Gabby
http://stardependentvintage.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Hipster's are ironic. By definition they try to be quirky and non-mainstream. But they're creating a bigger mainstream. I don't get it

Anonymous said...

Oh so funny. And I'm the old broad here but you just nailed my son. Seriously considering sending this to him but he might get insulted.

Aoife said...

You hit the nail on the head! Hipsters are an epidemic my beautiful city of Galway is infested with them :'( I lol'd @ all the ppl saying "OMG I think I'm hipter:O" and we all know they are totally delighted with it haha

p.s love the blog

Anonymous said...

ur not a hipster if u say ur a hipster....man

deanna@delirious-rhapsody said...

yikes...i never ever thought i was a hipster until i read this. :-/

Allispin said...

i guess i am a hipster and i never knew it. if i don't look the part am i still a hipster if i like those bands/films? c'est la vie...

Avogadro said...

The first and most important rule of hipsterism is you must deny vehemently that you are a hipster and point out all the other attributes of surrounding hipsters, otherwise you're just a douche and nobody wants to be a douche.

Anonymous said...

I love this article. I'm gonna get it in vinyl.

Kelly said...

My sister likes all of the films mentioned except for shark week... she's a hipster.

Amy said...

Everyones a damn hipster nowadays... I swear it's getting out of hand... Everyone watches those movies and listens to that music, the only difference is that we don't dress like our grannies and grand dads from about 20 years ago.. But anyways, spot on Hannah! Good job!

Gavin Bonner said...

I literally just posted about how amazing the dialog of every wes anderson film was amazing.

Anonymous said...

PLEASE include obsession with records/tapes in the next installment! I work at a food establishment, and the bar is completely cluttered with records and tapes. They ignore customers to change the records.

And all the girls wear see through tops.

Most of them smell.

They also smoke pot in the walk in cooler, with our hipster boss' permission.

Anonymous said...

Is there even a person out there who isn't a hipster? Just go to Baby Gap, where all of the aforementioned music will be playing and the aforementioned clothing will be available for purchase for 18 month olds...I feel like every baby of a BYU football player has a handwoven blanket with a bird applique...so I just wonder is anyone NOT a hipster anymore? for real.

Anonymous said...

I lol'd at the picture of 'I'm going to name all my children clementine!" Hilarious. And to all the people who say "darn, I'm a hipster"; it is not hipster-like to call yourself a hipster. And we all know you aren't a hipster, but you like to claim you are. :)

Victoria said...

These posts are hilarious. Thumps up from me.
Anyways, the movie that all hispsters love no matter what and they all secretly want to live is "500 days of Summer". Actually there's one scene that reenacts your Davis-Sedaris approach.
And being very close to several hipster friends -not that I am one though- I feel intitled to say that the #1 hipster band is "The Smiths". It should have had a description.

I must admit that I feel somewhat ideantified by some of the descriptions, but I guess that some of these are just common to our generation. Right...? OK, well.

Anyway, I was hilarios. You keep writin' I'll keep readin'.

Anonymous said...

I love your wicked sense of humor. Especially the breakdown of the music on the ipod. I own pretty much everything on there, I don't consider myself a hipster but I extremely attracted to them.

Anonymous said...

So this might sound kind of 'hipster' but this sounds like what hipsters were like 3 years ago. This list needs to be updated.

Kealie Vogel said...

OMGOMGOMG
Sigur Ros :O
*_________*
well…I guess that makes me an Icelandic hipster

Anonymous said...

So I had hipster taste in movies when these movies actually came out...
Garden State made me cry because it reminded me of my boyfriend that was in Iraq at the time. I really doubt that the trendy people relate to it in that way.
I still like my t-shirts and flared jeans...

Aiden said...

Heard the best hipster description:
Being hipster is like participating in the worlds biggest pissing contest.
To be in the contest is to not believe in the contest.
When confronted about taking part in the contest the only way to remain in the contest is to become offended and deny profusely.
Admitting you're taking part in the contest is the only way to loose the contest.
Thougah by defending your disqualification through inaction you are re-admitted into the contest.

Anonymous said...

That hipster iPod is lacking seriously in Neutral Milk Hotel and Animal Collective.

Anonymous said...

Hipsters are ruining music for the rest of us. Those spoiled little brats have no right to claim The National, Bon Iver and -godforbid- Johnny Cash. I feel like some of my favourite musicians are now 'tainted'.

Thinking of it, that's a very hipster like reaction. Who gives a fuck who listens to it, as long as you like it yourself.

Anonymous said...

no Vampire Weekend in the iPod?

Georgi x said...

this is fantastic, i love your drawings :)

Alexander said...

where's that radiohead at

is that too "oldschool" hipster, or just too mainstream? Irrelevant?

Isobel E said...

I started reading this to laugh at hipsters, and then shamefully found myself being described in most of the sections. I think I need to re evaluate my life XD

Anonymous said...

I read this at first as a joke. Who doesn't hate hipsters, right? I then found the music taste superb and I guess I am a hipster. Should I call someone to perform an exorcism?

Merete Sorum said...

Literally dying! So funny!

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