04 November 2011

On My Own

Over the summer I had the flat to myself for about 5 days. My flatmates were gone (one living out of the back of a van somewhere in England, the other spending the week in Scotland) and I was left to my own devices.

The first few days were nice and relaxing, since I think I needed some quality alone time. I spent the time walking around town, drawing, and going to the cinema alone. Once the fourth day came around, though, I began to struggle. Having no wifi, phone service, books I that I hadn't read, and having reached the point where if I drew one more Hipster I would kill myself, I decided the best use of my time was to knit a scarf.

I walked to the shop down the street and bought two thingies of yarn. But somehow I had forgotten how to start a scarf in the past few days, and the yarn turned into a giant knot. Seriously. I don't know how. I started pulling it out, and before I knew it, the yarn had gotten all tangled and tied up. 

For the next two hours I tried untangling the yarn. But I hardly made a dent. 



So I gave up after remembering that I had bought two thingies of yarn. I got the other one and made sure to carefully roll it into a ball. After a few tries, I finally remembered how to start the scarf.

About an hour into the scarf, I had a reality check. I realized I was sitting on my bed alone...


...on a friday night...


Knitting...


...listening to SHOW TUNES.

I was a few doilies away from being a crazy cat lady.











Disturbed after catching a glimpse of my possible future, I quickly shut off the music, set my knitting aside, and left to get some dinner at the Fish and Chips shop down the street.

Extra-vinegary chips in hand, I headed back home about 15 minutes later. It was getting darker, and I got a little nervous, mostly because I had no phone and if I had disappeared nobody would have noticed for like...a week.

As I walked quickly home, the already-shady underbelly of Cardiff proved itself to be downright terrifying.






Against all logic, I ran the rest of the way home, knowing that the scary graffiti was probably just all talk, but still not wanting to end up like Owen.


Back inside, I quickly locked and secured every possible entry way, including drawing the curtains in every room.




But because I had also attached my clothesline to the curtain-rod, the extreme weight of wet clothes combined with the force with which I pulled the curtains, caused the curtain rod to come clean off the wall and onto my head.


















Covered in drywall and paint chips, I climbed in bed with the intention of sleeping my memories away. 
But because there were no longer any curtains on my window, I was rudely awakened by an unusual phenomenon that I had not experienced in years.


Sunlight.













I manically searched the room for something to cover the window with, but I couldn't find anything big enough. A second later, I spotted a scarf I had bought laying on the ground. It was the perfect sun-shield.



Feeling much better, I went back to sleep....

...only to wake up in confusion around 2 PM, my hair sweated to my face where the scarf had been.





Later that day, my flatmate Mariah got home from Scotland. Boy, was I happy to see her. 








38 comments:

Anonymous said...

firsties first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first

Anonymous said...

You have no idea how happy I was to see you knitting with cats and Les Mis.

Natalie R. said...

hilarious. you're the best and i'm pretty sure that that exact same thing happened to me all the time.

deanna@delirious-rhapsody said...

ok. the "g'marnin" from mr. yellow douche bag made me snort frozen banana out of my nose.

i am a SAHM of two little boys, and my husband is working tonight. your post was the highlight of my evening. so, thank you for that.

Annapurna Moffatt said...

This made me laugh. "G'MARNIN'!" And the knitting. And Les Miz.

The_Hamburglar said...

yes

Angie. said...

That stupid sun. With his stupid face. And his stupid G'Marnins.

Chantelle said...

omg i love this :') yuor blog is too good! haha

http://filthylittlethings.blogspot.com/ xx

Lydia said...

It's when I find myself wearing a second hand grandma dress and knitting to Frank Sinatra that *I* start to worry.... And I'm only 16.

Nicole said...

Les Mis!! Yes!! And the G'MARNIN!! Fantastic!!

Also, I wish I knew how to knit.

order and chaos said...

the sun is my favorite. this was amazing...i've totally had an evening like this. i feel your pain. hahah!
xo.
holly

Sam said...

Hahaha this is my favorite post of yours XD This is just amazing. I too have spent friday evenings knitting...typically watching tv though, and not always alone :P

And that sun is amazing! (And I've totally done the scarf trick too)

Eleanor Rigby said...

oh so funny! :D

Hayley Benton said...

Bahahah! I can't believe I actually know the song you were knitting to... My mom LOVED it and it was on all of her roadtrip CDs so its burned into my memory for all eternity. And the sun's cheerful face really gets me x)

kwistin said...

bahaha! i was waiting for this one. that sun.... :)

Katrina said...

BAHAHAHAHA! Okay, this cracked me up so much! I have never commented on your blog before, but this reminded me so much of me I had to say something. Thanks for the laugh! :D

Sara said...

Its sad that I do that all the time...I love knitting and showtunes...

jane said...

I adore les mis.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with sitting at home alone on a friday night, as long as there is also les mis.

calvin said...

I'm glad the flames are accurately colored.

This is possibly the most funny blogpost I have read. Ever.

Hayley said...

hahahaha this was welllll worth the wait :) I may or may not have put on les mis while I was reading this...

Jessica said...

I giggled first at the crazy cat on your head...then I belly laughed at the sun and then laughed to the point of snorting at your crazy scarf hair. Totally made my evening!

cakesandshakes said...

SO funny! Yep, friday nights sitting in alone are a hazard to one's health. Why do you think God invented pubs and clubs even though they're obviously hellholes??? Anything's better than nearly getting brained by your own drapes...

Cakes
http://www.cakesandshakes.wordpress.com

nicola lynde. said...

Bah. I feel like I have lived this night about a thousand times. Everything from wanting to stab myself with a knitting needle trying to untangle wool, to nearly ripping my eyes out before tying tights, scarves, socks around my face to block out evil sun. I laughed so hard reading this.

Summers Camp said...

You should have finished that scarf. One, it would have saved you from the rest of the night. And two, it could come in handy for future sun-blocking. Moral of the story: scarves, or the lack thereof, can lead to your undoing. *B

--jeff * said...

why was "hipster" capitalized?


i mean, i also really love your illustrations and all....

Anonymous said...

This is totally familiar... heheh... =)

Sierra ShaneĆ” said...

hahahahahhahhahah wow....this seriously. just made my whole week. i about died laughing.
www.theyellowglove.blogspot.com

Ada Beth Croft said...

These drawings make me LOL. I can relate, because we have creepy graffiti in my neighborhood too. Stuff like, in the sewer tunnels "you won't believe what happens at the end of this tunnel.." "you should turn back unless you want to die." I've never had the guts to go the full way through that tunnel. Too scary!

Paula said...

hilarious!! you have no idea how this made my day, you're awesome :)
and is cardiff really that creepy? I was thinking about woking there for a year or two after getting my degree..

Hannah Hillam said...

Nah, Cardiff is actually pretty great. I just lived in a really sketchy part of town (Roath). It's also the cheapest part of town. I'd totally live there again because of how inexpensive it is.

You should live in Cardiff. It's awesome. :D

Kristen said...

Hannah....
I just thought you should know...

a friend linked me to your How to Be a Hipster... and I was instantly smitten with your blog.

I didn't notice the hours passing away as I read through post after post.

Then suddenly... the "Older Posts" button was gone.

I thought to myself... "how can this be??!!"

Then I realized I just read your entire blog in one sitting.

Kudos my dear. Kudos.

<3

Anonymous said...

The sun's face and then "G'MARNIN'!" made me burst out laughing. He was so excited to greet you!

Anonymous said...

AUGH this is a total joy!!!! I love seeing how everybody unanimously agreed that the G'MARNIN' was awesome, because it was. And I'm glad some people encouraged you in your knitting and Les Miserables-listening, because I, for one, was sorry to see you stop. :D I saw the first installment of "How to Be a Hipster" and that was tremendously well done also, but for me this one was even better. Thanks so much!!!! :D :D :D

-- Kamalini D.

Anonymous said...

You got chip too? Yeah, me too...

Andressa said...

you are soo funny! hahaha i literally LOL'd at Mr. Big Yellow Douchebag's face - keep it up, your posts never cease to put a huge smile on my face :D <3

YoungAlmaMater said...

Your blog is amazing.

WDWDisneyDiva said...

Ok, seriously. You are my new favorite writer. hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Dude, your blog is so funny. The first time I read it, I showed it to like everyone in my dorm! Your posts are so relatable and I can't stop reading them!!!