The Midterm Monster

It has arrived. It's...here.  IT'S HERE. 

It has shown up to make me miserable once again. It's merciless jaws of despair ensure that I will not escape in a good state of mind. It comes, infiltrates, and leaves none in its wake.

It is The Midterm Monster (which I imagine to be a concoction of dread, fear, confusion, and Satan himself), and its lifeblood is the many missing hours of sleep from college students.

If you're happy with your progress in school so far, then it will completely empty your heart of any joy....

...You will sell yourself to endless studying, but it's not enough. Nothing will ever be enough as it drains the hope from your soul and devours you...

...taking you into it's furnace of a belly only to spit you back up a week later, your sanity barely hanging by a thread.

As you lay confused and unhinged, you search for the familiar relief that comes after taking an exam... you realize... it's only October. 

You feel no relief...

...because it doesn't exist here.

You are simply left to wallow in the mediocre bile of your midterm results.

I think maybe I've just been in school too long.

See you next week.

Why I Suck At School

I'm still in school. By the time I graduate with my BFA next August, I'll have spent 6 years in my undergraduate degree.

At my university you are not only required to complete the classes assigned to your specific major, but also a ton of other "general" classes as well. These include science, math, and other such miserable things. Naturally I avoided these classes at all costs, neglecting to think of the consequences that would come of not taking them as a freshman.

So here I am. A triple senior in a bunch of freshman classes. It's my own fault, of course, for not taking (or passing) these classes when I should have. That doesn't stop me from wanting to stab my eyes out with a pencil every single day.

Currently I'm in a freshman Physical Science class with an overly-excited professor who specializes in the study of black holes.

After my initial breakdown upon realizing that I remember absolutely nothing from high school science, I go into a half-daze, half dream-like state during class.

I also make the mistake of forgetting the essential substances needed to keep me from shutting down and losing focus completely.

As a result of forgetting that important substance, I usually begin letting my basic human needs take complete control of everything, ignoring everything the professors are saying until my needs are fulfilled. 

The solution to all of these problems would be to just GET OUT OF SCHOOL HANNAH WHY ARE YOU STILL IN SCHOOL YOU'RE ALMOST 24 YOU SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE INSTEAD OF SITTING THROUGH SOUL-SUCKING 100-LEVEL CLASSES WITH SHINY-FACED FRESHMAN WHO DON'T EVEN REALIZE YET THAT COLLEGE WILL TURN THEM INTO PROCRASTINATING, NOCTURNAL, ANEMIC CREATURES THAT ONLY EMERGE FROM THEIR DORMS TO TAKE TESTS AND MAYBE EAT.

Next August... Next August. 

Love,
Hannah